Get it in Writing: The Paper Trail That Protects Your Child

As I begin to write this, I feel a sinking sense of discouragement and despair. I became a teacher because I wanted to help kids. I truly believed the education system was the best place to do that. Several years in, I no longer hold that belief. And while I still want to help children, I’ve come to realize that I need to change how I do that.

One thing has become painfully clear.
Parents are rarely given the full picture.
Information is withheld. Facts are distorted. Sometimes, lies are told. The system protects itself. District administrators protect their high-paying roles. Unions protect their members. But who protects the children?

Families are left to figure it out alone. Many of them are holding onto the same hopeful belief I once did. Let me say this clearly: naivety is your worst enemy.

You must prepare for battle.

Start by knowing your rights. Know what to ask for and how to ask for it. And above all, get everything in writing.

If your child has a disability, get a letter from a doctor or qualified professional confirming the diagnosis. Whether your child has an IEP or not, you have the legal right to request accommodations. Put that request in writing, and use specific, direct language. Use the word “disability.” Use the word “accommodation.” These words matter. They are tied to human rights protections.

If a meeting is scheduled, bring someone with you for support and take notes. Never sign anything during the meeting, especially if it is incomplete or unclear. You are allowed to take time to review documents before agreeing to anything. After the meeting, send a follow-up email summarizing what was discussed and what was agreed to. Keep that record.

Whenever possible, use email instead of phone calls. If it isn’t written down, it didn’t happen.

An IEP is not permanent. If it isn’t working, you have the right to request a review. If accommodations are not meeting your child’s needs, ask for them to be adjusted. Accommodations are not one-size-fits-all. They must be tailored to the individual and responsive to changing needs.

Follow up with teachers. Ask if accommodations are being implemented and documented. Request confirmation and examples when necessary.

While I wish no parent had to prepare for a human rights complaint, the reality is that you might have to. In the best case, your advocacy results in the support your child needs. In the worst case, your documentation will be your strongest protection.

Make sure your child’s disability is clearly documented.
Request accommodations that are linked to that disability.
Remember, accommodations are not the same as strategies. Strategies are general suggestions. Accommodations are legal obligations that require the system to make changes, not your child.

If discrimination occurs, link the harm directly to the disability.

Put it in writing.
Send emails.
Keep copies of every document.
Do not assume everything is being added to your child’s official file.
Keep your own file. One day, you may need it.